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I Hate My Period




Once upon a time, in the year 2001, a girl named Tiara first got her period
*Insert dramatic music*
Yeah I was on time with it...probably early since I was halfway 10
Yes I said 10.
*Insert scream*
I already knew how to work a pad due to my (ex) bff Atika having it and I guided her
My mom, sister, cousin, grandma and various trips to the "Firehouse" and C-Town to get some
So it was nothing new....at least to me
My mom started crying and I looked at her like ewww get the fuck off of me
But I let her embrace me anyway
It was the first time in my life I have had such bitchy thoughts
And it consumed me....
I hate I bleed for mad fucking long
I, now halfway 20, still bleed for 7 fucking days
A whole week from monday to monday
Nothing but red and "glops"
*Insert dramatic music with heavy screams*
My vagina is just being fucking shredded to pieces
Big and little pieces
I hate the cramps
These motherfuckers come like labor
I hate when bitches say "oh T you're overexaggerating"
Bitch do you have my motherfucking pussy
No! You don't!
So how the fuck would you know about how my pussy feels every 28 and 1/4th days hoe?
My cramps is so fucking bad that I need to go to the motherfucking ER
But I never went bc I could never make it there
Too far a journey for my aching pussy
I hate the bloating
I dead ass go up a size in jeans and shirts bc my fucking ass blows up like a motherfucking whale
I have so much water weight on my love handles and stomach that I can easily pass for a preggo woman
Not cool when last month I looked just like my preggo sis -.-
Like identical to the bitch
My stomach swells to I'm a prissy irritable bitch that is fucking helpless
I hate the fatigue
That shit knocks me out for over 12 hours if I let it
So waking up to go to work is always a fucking task
Don't let me mention the headaches and dizziness from standing up too long
Showers would have to be 5 minutes for my headaches and dizziness, 20 minutes for the blood to get off my body or
an hour bc of the fucking fatigue
Pick your evil
Open pores
Yes I hate that shit too bc I'm always fucking extremely cold like I'm experiecing hypothermia
I'm a nemic on top of the shit
Summertime, shivering
Autumn, numb
Winter, almost dying from frostbites
Spring, wet and shivering
I have to sleep like 12 hours a day under a sheet, blanket, quilt, fleece quilt and full pajams to feel normal
Then.....hot flashes
Yes hot flashes
*Insert hairpulling, screaming lady who fallsdown a flight of stairs and over the balcony into a field of grass-like knives*
Hot flashes is the other point of death where you fee like you're 200 degrees inside and out
So you're experiencing hot flashes that make you sweat and weak
If you sweat too much, that sweat turns to cold water with your open pores and you are 100x colder than you
were before and go under the covers to get warm....
But not only do you get warm, you get another hot flash but worse
Yes, worse
*random lady slits throat and falls out of a 100 story building*
So that's bitchiness, cramps, bloating, fatigue, coldness and hot flashes with your vagina coming out of you during this
Luckily I don't have children or important life changing things to do like drive
Yet...
This is one of the many reasons I don't want to have kids
If my period feels like an inch away from death, what will childbirth be?
I don't want to actually die just yet
Then to make it all worse: MENYou selfish motherfuckers won't even help a bitch out
Oh she's bleeding
Ewwwww
Call me when you're off
How about when I get my new vagina when the week is up, I don't fuck your sorry asses?
My new vagina shouldn't be wasted on old, lazy ass motherfuckers who can't handle blood or females
Being with a vagina (Yes, natural-born vagina) = BITCHINESS
I didn't make up the rules
God did and that's a whole nother story
(Thanks you motherfucker!!!!!)
But who will I find who will put up with my week of hell?
Men are so quick to run the fuck away but they only observe my misery
Not feel it
If they felt/feel how I did/do every month for the last 10 years and for the next 40,
(That's over 720 months btw)
Maybe, just maybe, I'd be more appreciate for life's unfortunate events
Furthermore, I hate every single day of my period
And I sometimes hate strawberry sundaes and spaghetti bc it makes me think of it
Enjoy your day =]




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