Oh hush ya shit
Y'all knew this was coming
I love dick, dick, dick, apples and bananas =]
But seriously, I love dick
Dick is a human male's sexual instrument
It is cylinder shaped
Can be short
Can be long
Can be thin
Can be thick
But my favorite is the combination of thickness and length
Baby bottle dicks
Yes, I have used this term before
And yes it feels just like a damn baby bottle
There are many types of dicks out here
Let's discuss a few shall we....
Small Dick
Small Dick is 4- inches
Ain't shit to say about small dick guys
But just know that even if he reaches your g-spot, you'd be bored
Average Dick
Average dick is between 5-7 inches long
Thickness is there but not enough to stretch out your vagina (or ass)
You can easily deep throat this type of dick bc most of it is going to be on your tongue anyway
Don't expect massive orgasm unless you're tinier than hello kitty
Women like me (Nymphos/Nymphets--Yes, Lib, I'm driving it into the ground) can't fuck Average Dick
because they will get easily turned out and quite the stalkers they can become
Good Dick
Good dick is between 7-8 inches long
A few guys has this type of dick
It also comes with thickness too but also, if dealt a wild card in life, it can be thin
Its the type of dick that make you go "ohh" when it goes in
Type of dick that if you're in love, you can possibly say the guys name
Not that I would personally know
Banging Dick
Banging dick is between 8-10 inches long
Banging dick has extra thickness
Makes you salivate when you suck it and choke on it when you deep it
It's the dick that when it's all the way in, it hits your uterus and it hurts
Hurts so good though
If you fuck a banging dick, just know that you're pussy is gonna be swollen shut
Oh I know
Massive Cock
Massive Cock is 10+ inches
The more the dick, the more gay they're going to be
Hey I don't make up the rules
I say this because their dick is so big that it would be painful to have vaginal sex with
And I do wanna keep my uterus intact so I can bare my husbands kids one day
Tankuverymucho
They would have to go gay for any real pleasure (sorry ladies)
Unless you have a bottomless pit for a vagina that stretches like you're giving birth
And that's quite nasty.
Specialty Dick
Specialty dick is a combination of the previous stated dicks with a twist
Literally
It can curve up, down (yes it's possible), left or right
Or be top heavy (at the tip) and reduce thickness
Like an inverted triangle
Or be bottom heavy (at the base; extremely rare)
Like a regular isosceles triangle
They can provide extra "umph" when digging in your goodies
And gives you a unique orgasm
I'm going to have to beat bitches off both my nephews with an extension cord
That covers types of dick but dicks also have scents and tastes
Sweet Dick
Sweet dick is dick that tastes like candy, naturally or in a freaky escapade
Naturally sweet dick is extremely rare
Their diet regimen is superub
I can suck this type of dick all day and let them cum in my mouth without me being disgusted
Regular Dick
Regular dick is dick that is stereotypical of every race
Each race or nationality has their scent
I.e. Jamaicans have curry smelling dick
It's a strong ass scent and it's not attractive to me
Bc it smells like my mouth is gonna burn with a venereal disease
Clean Dick
Clean dick is dick that has no scent but soap or anything you know is not from natural bodily functions
Clean dick owners take pride in their dick and treat is like I treat my vagina: with love and affection
They tend to lotion their dicks
And even though I can't suck it the way I like due to extra chemicals,
I do appreciate the hygiene
Stank Dick
Stank Dick is dick that needs to be thoroughly cleaned
I.e. when you first wake up
This is mainly why women almost never fulfill the wake me up with your mouth fantasy
Your dicks smell like all-day...
**Side Note: All-day is a natural scent that accumulates over a length of time that is the standard day (8-10 hours) without washing up. Similar scent is what you smell like after a good work out even if you showered right before.**
...so we don't like sucking all-day smelling dick
Just like most guys (outside of men who are truly in love and men who love eating pussy for breakfast, brunch, lunch, snack, dinner and "5th meal") won't eat a woman out after her pussy marinated all night,
tables have turned on you too
Untouchable Dick
Untouchable dick is a very good and on the flip side, a very bad thing
Good: dick so pretty that I would deal with the person-behind-the-dick's shit way longer than need be just to be near the dick
Bad: you don't want to be near the person who owns the dick much less get intimately involved to get the dick
I.e. your ex (the one you want to kill), dead beat bd, nasty co-worker, classmate who comes to class smelling au natural like he ain't ever took a bath in the same year or use deodorant in his entire life.
Pretty black and white
Dick Care
Then comes proper care
There's circumsized and noncircumsized dicks
Noncircumsized dicks have extra skin so they need to get the soap in every crevice of their dick
Circumsized dick owners tend to slack off since they don't have the extra skin
No every dick owner needs to wash their dicks LONGER than pussy owners
Also, just like pussy owners, dick owners need to wash the side of their dicks
The sides that meet with their thighs: inner thigh
Most men, who are not skinny, have a lingering smell due to sweat that gets between those crevices
And over the years, it leaves dark marks on your inner thigh
Another reason why some women are turned off to giving head: your thighs smell like sweaty socks
or underbreast after a long day at work
Yes I said underbreast.
So if you want people to suck your dick, take proper care.
Y'all knew this was coming
I love dick, dick, dick, apples and bananas =]
But seriously, I love dick
Dick is a human male's sexual instrument
It is cylinder shaped
Can be short
Can be long
Can be thin
Can be thick
But my favorite is the combination of thickness and length
Baby bottle dicks
Yes, I have used this term before
And yes it feels just like a damn baby bottle
There are many types of dicks out here
Let's discuss a few shall we....
Small Dick
Small Dick is 4- inches
Ain't shit to say about small dick guys
But just know that even if he reaches your g-spot, you'd be bored
Average Dick
Average dick is between 5-7 inches long
Thickness is there but not enough to stretch out your vagina (or ass)
You can easily deep throat this type of dick bc most of it is going to be on your tongue anyway
Don't expect massive orgasm unless you're tinier than hello kitty
Women like me (Nymphos/Nymphets--Yes, Lib, I'm driving it into the ground) can't fuck Average Dick
because they will get easily turned out and quite the stalkers they can become
Good Dick
Good dick is between 7-8 inches long
A few guys has this type of dick
It also comes with thickness too but also, if dealt a wild card in life, it can be thin
Its the type of dick that make you go "ohh" when it goes in
Type of dick that if you're in love, you can possibly say the guys name
Not that I would personally know
Banging Dick
Banging dick is between 8-10 inches long
Banging dick has extra thickness
Makes you salivate when you suck it and choke on it when you deep it
It's the dick that when it's all the way in, it hits your uterus and it hurts
Hurts so good though
If you fuck a banging dick, just know that you're pussy is gonna be swollen shut
Oh I know
Massive Cock
Massive Cock is 10+ inches
The more the dick, the more gay they're going to be
Hey I don't make up the rules
I say this because their dick is so big that it would be painful to have vaginal sex with
And I do wanna keep my uterus intact so I can bare my husbands kids one day
Tankuverymucho
They would have to go gay for any real pleasure (sorry ladies)
Unless you have a bottomless pit for a vagina that stretches like you're giving birth
And that's quite nasty.
Specialty Dick
Specialty dick is a combination of the previous stated dicks with a twist
Literally
It can curve up, down (yes it's possible), left or right
Or be top heavy (at the tip) and reduce thickness
Like an inverted triangle
Or be bottom heavy (at the base; extremely rare)
Like a regular isosceles triangle
They can provide extra "umph" when digging in your goodies
And gives you a unique orgasm
I'm going to have to beat bitches off both my nephews with an extension cord
That covers types of dick but dicks also have scents and tastes
Sweet Dick
Sweet dick is dick that tastes like candy, naturally or in a freaky escapade
Naturally sweet dick is extremely rare
Their diet regimen is superub
I can suck this type of dick all day and let them cum in my mouth without me being disgusted
Regular Dick
Regular dick is dick that is stereotypical of every race
Each race or nationality has their scent
I.e. Jamaicans have curry smelling dick
It's a strong ass scent and it's not attractive to me
Bc it smells like my mouth is gonna burn with a venereal disease
Clean Dick
Clean dick is dick that has no scent but soap or anything you know is not from natural bodily functions
Clean dick owners take pride in their dick and treat is like I treat my vagina: with love and affection
They tend to lotion their dicks
And even though I can't suck it the way I like due to extra chemicals,
I do appreciate the hygiene
Stank Dick
Stank Dick is dick that needs to be thoroughly cleaned
I.e. when you first wake up
This is mainly why women almost never fulfill the wake me up with your mouth fantasy
Your dicks smell like all-day...
**Side Note: All-day is a natural scent that accumulates over a length of time that is the standard day (8-10 hours) without washing up. Similar scent is what you smell like after a good work out even if you showered right before.**
...so we don't like sucking all-day smelling dick
Just like most guys (outside of men who are truly in love and men who love eating pussy for breakfast, brunch, lunch, snack, dinner and "5th meal") won't eat a woman out after her pussy marinated all night,
tables have turned on you too
Untouchable Dick
Untouchable dick is a very good and on the flip side, a very bad thing
Good: dick so pretty that I would deal with the person-behind-the-dick's shit way longer than need be just to be near the dick
Bad: you don't want to be near the person who owns the dick much less get intimately involved to get the dick
I.e. your ex (the one you want to kill), dead beat bd, nasty co-worker, classmate who comes to class smelling au natural like he ain't ever took a bath in the same year or use deodorant in his entire life.
Pretty black and white
Dick Care
Then comes proper care
There's circumsized and noncircumsized dicks
Noncircumsized dicks have extra skin so they need to get the soap in every crevice of their dick
Circumsized dick owners tend to slack off since they don't have the extra skin
No every dick owner needs to wash their dicks LONGER than pussy owners
Also, just like pussy owners, dick owners need to wash the side of their dicks
The sides that meet with their thighs: inner thigh
Most men, who are not skinny, have a lingering smell due to sweat that gets between those crevices
And over the years, it leaves dark marks on your inner thigh
Another reason why some women are turned off to giving head: your thighs smell like sweaty socks
or underbreast after a long day at work
Yes I said underbreast.
So if you want people to suck your dick, take proper care.
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