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The Thoughts of A Living Dead

I wonder what will happen
The doubts lingering in my mind whispering to my insecurities
Pushing me away from where I want to be
How can this imagination ruin my reality
How can my dreams become a dreadful constant
All I have left to say is "play with me"......
That sweet voice at the beginning of "Cool World"
I never knew the song but her voice echos through my mind
Play with me
Take me
Use me
Guide me
Make love to me
Yes...
That is what I want
I am in love with an image
My dreams are disastrous
It expedites my insanity
Like a dildo fucking me, it makes me temporarily whole
That's what life is
Just a day to day existence where nothing increasingly matters
My thoughts are hypocrites to my actions
My dreams are a living hell
My mind plays tricks on me while I am honest to others
I feel manipulated
A masochist at heart
Make me cry and I am yours
Make me whole and I will slit my wrist til the blood fills up the tub in disappointment and dispair
You can't satisfy a broken yet whole person
I give my all, my best and it's just a cold slap on my cheek bone
My face burns at the touch of life's hand
I just hold my face and smile
Though I never wanted to be used for a meager existence,
It is the only thing that is constant in my life
So I embrace the hold stares, the mental rapes, the mind fucks, the physical pain to make love to someone who will never know me
My dreams are as good to a dead blind, deaf person who had down-syndrome
It will never get heard, felt, graced upon nor tasted on anothers lips
The devil may cry but I share his pain
Make love to me you monstrous beast
We only have each other to have, hold and tear apart in mutual satisfaction
May I burn in hell with a light heart and a tasty smile that will burn through your soul in spite

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