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Set My Heart Free To Love

Troubled
Heavy thoughts
Sitting here thinking of why am I alone
Is there something I did?
Didn't do?
Insecurity is driving me insane
It's been a long time coming
The air is still filled with your scent
The mind is still filled with your memories
I wish I didn't have your love to reflect upon
Looking at your gifts
At things I've once treasured
I have them looked up in my closet
To a part that's not visibly seen
I don't want to see them
But it would kill a dying part of me if I threw them away
Why did you make me believe I was to blame?
I tried to change
My words are gentle now
My attitude is mellow
My lips no longer say harsh things
You knew you fell out of love with me
And you hung on to a dead dream
You lied to me in making me believe we can work through it
I wanted to do it alone since I was at fault
But it was you
Your words, actions, emotions
You hurt me deeper than my first
I despise how happy you are now
Why do you get to see joy when I get to see your misery?
You have the life you've always wanted
American Dream
And here I am still in the beginning stages
I've grown to be a better person
But what have I to show for it?
You can't display a personality
You can't touch maturity
You can't smell patience
You can't taste accomplishment
You can't hear love
Only thing I've wanted as a constant
I want my love back
I want my time
My tears
My energy
My heart whole
I am sad that I can't give my next lover my entire being
It's not complete because of you
I only wanted the best for you
I was a bitch to push you
I nagged to motivate you
I provoked to make you act
I did all I done for you
I'm left with less than 100% and a grip on the past that I am imprisoned to
Set me free
As it was easy for you to say yes & leave
I want you to uncuff me
Give me back my remains
I want to love
I don't love you so give me back my heart
I want to heal a full heart, not part of one
Drinking my sorrows have been done
Sexing my pain is temporary
I want to be sober & joyous
It's the least you can do
Let me have the opportunity to be completely happy as you are now
If you can't let me live, let me die
Kill me if it kills you to give me back what I've given you
Let me move forward with my personal life
Let me finally stop hurting....

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