Older

Things are not as they were

The saying goes the only constant in life is change

I usually embrace it with open arms

I'm not so sure now

I'm tired of loved ones slipping through my hands as easily as cool water from the faucet 

I'm tired of being financially drained 

Living as if I have the bare minimum to survive 

I'm tired of holding my head high when others strive to beat me until I'm low

I'm tired of fleeting love as I go chasing sunsets

I'm tired of my body moving slower than it once did

Nights don't give me the solice I need anymore 

Drinking feels forced 

I avoid medicine to avoid the high

Sober and woke

It's hard being awake all the time

I'm too aware to fall asleep

Everyday is a constant battle on what I should do and how I feel

War waned and hungry for more from this life,

I have grown up

I'm able to sustain the illusion of completion

While walking around as hollow as the air balloon 

Have I lost my way?

Have I lost who I was and who I was meant to be?

I don't feel like I have

The adversity which I have endured has lead me to the sacred land of others who understand me

Life is hard but people who make you happy make the pain dull

The smile on my face reaches my eyes and holds the tears from falling steadily 

Enough smiles dries up the dam until it is only happy tears flowing from the joy of experience

Things have changed

And it is just a part of getting older